Today is Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday, the eve of Lent. We are still in the throes of the Covid epidemic but much less so. Most people have been vaccinated and hospitals report fewer cases and less emergency over crowding. Restrictions on mask wearing mandates are being lifted and a cautious normalcy is returning. Let the good times roll and let's celebrate Fat Tuesday in true tradition before the fasting and abstinence begins tomorrow. I'm also celebrating 16 years of sobriety. There was a time when a planned celebration was in order. Food and drink, colorful beads and hats to match, loud music and raucous behavior, a mighty release, but no more. Those days of revelry are a thing of the past, a distant memory. Not only am I sober but I got old. So staying sober is hardly a challenge, because I do very little of anything. Although when I look around this very polarized world, autocrats vs democrats, authoritarians vs egalitarians, it makes me sad and frustrated, and God knows I could use a strong drink. The human fabric gets more frayed and chaotic as remedies and solutions seem impossible. I hunker down in my solitude and wait patiently for the grand children, in their innocence and exuberance to fish me out of my mental quagmire. Being with them and their skipping and smiles and robust parading around, makes each minute a Mardi Gras. Their unencumbered hopeful joy is a much a needed balancer, juxtaposed against the great expanse of despair for far too many.
I reflect on my own youth when adult problems were yet to come. Like my grandkids I played with abandon, all day if I could. I would get weary from the shear joy exhausting all my energy. I was comfortable and confident in my own skin and my family environment. I was happy and growing and learning and absorbing. I was a sponge filling with happy and exciting experiences. I'm reminded of that long ago life when I'm with the children and I feel good. But like that long ago idyllic life, change happens and we can't and don't stay children. The adult world, the world of suffering, the world of injustice, the world of hopelessness, encroaches my consciousness.
I'll celebrate Mardi Gras sober, with my children and their children on my mind, and all the joy they've brought me in my life, and give thanks.
