So what? Always the question, to express more opinions, observations, attitudes, ideas, and remembrances or forget about it. Who really cares and do I even care? Sometimes I feel the need to write because somebody might read it and get a sense of who I am or was. But what to write? Current events is always good for ranting and raving, family matters rekindle what is joyous, especially children's development, the increasing aches and pains of aging, comparing the experiences of the past and present, you see just spewing spontaneously writes itself.
The holiday season is in full swing. Halloween just concluded and fortunately I didn't have to participate. I've always been shy and introverted and I am reluctant to dressing in elaborate costumes. I don't mind eating exorbitant amounts of candy but at my age excessive sugar is a killer. Not to mention the excessive nature of the upcoming holidays and the stresses involved. I'm already strategizing the use of aches and pains of old age, as well as old age itself, as a means to minimize holiday activities. We'll see, I've survived this long!
It's been months since I've written for this blog. I sense it becomes repetitive. I find myself most of the time a cynic steeped in fatalism. I have to urge myself to be optimistic and glean the positive and beautiful from the world around me. It's easy with grand children because of their innocence and exuberance. But distance of sorts keeps us apart. So the ongoing pernicious politics of life swarms over my psyche like a cloud of wasps. Our country is torn in two without a bridge of compromise, and a real civil war, with weaponry, festers just below the surface. I fear the gloom and doom!
Then there is getting old. I'm 74 now and realizing begrudgingly I'm basically irrelevant and invisible. I had a revelation yesterday, let go of the ego, and unnecessary expectations. Sounds simple doesn't it. Actually the more alone you or I are the easier it gets. The aches and pains grow and functioning on most physical levels ceases, which eliminates expectations. Since performing socially is curtailed by physical restrictions there's no need for ego. Impressing on any level is unnecessary when you are alone, so who needs an ego. This awareness although difficult is relieving.
A man is just about as happy as he makes up his mind to be!
