Thursday, August 29, 2019

Fog City

                                                              OK
 Aug. 29th 2019

Where to begin? Why begin? What's to be said? I don't know. I just thought since it's been a couple months since I've blogged, sounds like clogged, well something needed to be written. The Labor Day weekend approaches and the holiday spirit collectively builds in the minds of the populace. As I remember the school year didn't begin until after Labor Day, which indicated the end of Summer. But now the kids are already back in the rigmarole of school days. Of course I'm not affected in any way shape or form. I'm an old man and can barely remember youthful times. My days whistle by with little variation and I don't mind. There's an ease to sameness which I now appreciate. Frankly most activities however inviting become an effort. I guess I'm referring to the upcoming holiday season. I really shouldn't go on about my self induced anxiety concerning the prolonged effort from now until the new year. So I won't. But just let me state if I had my druthers, I'd be a solitary curmudgeon.

So what else is new? My brother Casey stopped over the other day, and we had a very comfortable few hours catching up with family matters and sharing annoyances. We delved into our shared history and how our parents divorce affected and changed each of us. We speculated on all the what ifs. Mostly we laughed at even the most traumatic of events, what else could we do? But in old age and having to continue the struggle, the good fight, well sometimes we wish we would have had some money, a formal education, mentors to guide us, aspects which would have helped us navigate the congested and murky waters of life. Regrets sure. We always return to our goof fortune, I mean good fortune. Sometimes we have to search for it. Then we laugh and that's where it starts. Humor is our foundation and what a foundation it is. It is the thread connecting the generations through hard times and celebratory times. My granddaughter tries to make me laugh, and she does to the extreme joy of us both. How much money or education do I need for such a sheer feeling of ecstasy.

Thinking of my granddaughter and the juxtaposition with my sister, her great Aunt, is disconcerting. My sister who knows the healing balm of laughter, also knows the heavy burden of loneliness, of extreme poverty, the despair of no hope, yet she forges on. She has more than tread the fierce rip tides of life, and did it alone. She's old and deserves a respite from all forms of burden. Sadness and struggle unfortunately are human's common legacy. Ain't that funny!


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